Now, I realize I'm only 24 and I have a lot more to learn, but I feel like I've learned a lot about friendship and true colors over the last few years. So I'm going to share a bit of that with you.
It really annoys me when people sit around and wonder why they don't have friends...or maybe they have friends, but no one really wants to hang out with them. I've had a few of these friends in the past. You get what you give...meaning: you have to put some effort into a relationship to get something out of it. If you want them to treat you a certain way, you have to reciprocate that treatment.
I'm not talking about being available every second of everyday, but just knowing that if I REALLY need you, you'll drop what you're doing and be there, just like I would for you. Also...don't make promises you can't keep. I realize things happen, plans go awry sometimes, but I know some people who constantly say "oh, I'll come over later," or "I'll be there at 7." And then they're either super late or don't show up at all. Is it so hard to send a text or Facebook message or--heaven forbid--call the person to say "I'm running late," or "Something came up, I can't make it?" Because I really don't find it that hard to pick up my phone and do so. With that being said, I've done that before, but ONLY to people who have done that to me on more than one occasion.
I have trust issues and this just adds to the problem. I can count on one hand the number of people I can trust at least 85% of the time. I have zero people on this earth who I trust 100%. This doesn't mean the rest of the people I don't trust at all, I just don't trust them as much.
Now most of you know that I'm not a high maintenance person when it comes to friends and family. I like being by myself, I like to stay home and be lazy. I'm not the type of person who wants to go somewhere every single time we hang out. I'm also not the type of person who wants to talk (or hear you talk) the ENTIRE time we're together. Turn the radio up in the car and sing at the top of your lungs for crying out loud. Take Amber for example, we can drive around all day long and maybe say two words to each other, not because we're mad, not because we don't have anything to say, just because nothing NEEDS to be said.
Like I said before, I don't need someone to be available every second of everyday. Yeah, I like attention (okay, I love attention), but I don't want it from you unless you're willing to give it to me. I'm not going to stand on my head and hold my breath to get you to give me a second glance. That's not who I amI like friends who are 100% comfortable to just sit at the house and watch movies sometimes. I like going places, but sometimes I just don't feel up to it. And if you're going to be annoyed by this, then we probably shouldn't be friends. If you're the one wanting to see me, you should probably come to me, I can't come to you every single time.
I have a long-distance relationship with most of my CLOSE friends. Amber and Kaitlin are the exception...and Kait isn't really an exception because she lives 3 hours away. And I know I don't put in as much as I should when it comes to our friendship because I rarely go to OKC, but when I do, we try to meet up. And when she comes home and has time, we like to hang out, even if that means sharing iTunes libraries at home or going to get snow cones (see what I mean by not being high maintenance).
Anyway, back to the long-distance thing. Some people think it's weird, but seriously 3 of my 5 closest friends live out of state and not just a state over, one of them is two states away, another is 3 states away and another lives in Rhode Island. It's just how things work for me. I think it's because those relationships aren't high maintenance friendships. I explained it once as they're not here on a daily basis to let me down, because the more you're around a person, the more likely you are to be let down by that person. Does that make sense? We talk A LOT, Twitter, Facebook, texting, phone calls...those are our only means of communications. When you have a busy life and your friends have a busy life, it's hard to meet up once a week or even once a month sometimes, but when you have a means of communication that is always open, things work a little better.
Another thing...neediness. It goes hand-in-hand with being a high maintenance friend. These type of people are constantly grasping at straws, trying to get someone to hang out with them. Now some people will take the bait, but not me. Usually the more a person is trying to connect with me, the more I push away. When you're stalking my Facebook to find out where I'm at or what I'm doing, just so you can get your foot in, you probably need to reassess our friendship. I don't want to be around anyone 24/7 or even 12/3.5 or...well, whatever half of 12/3.5 is. Once again, I'm just not that type of person. I get sick of people easily. And if you're constantly wanting me to come over, I'm probably not going to. If you want to hang out so bad, you can come by my house, I'm usually here, like I said, I don't like to leave.
Something else that bothers me, if you want to go do something so bad, don't rush me. If I'm going to just hang out at your house, I will come over with messy hair and no makeup. But if you're wanting to go shopping or something, you must be willing to wait at least an hour (usually longer) before I even think about walking out that door. If you're not, you probably should ask someone else.
I must say, I'm not the best friend...sometimes I'm not even a good friend at all, but I try. I put effort into my relationships, I keep my promises and I try not to bother people unless I have something to say. So if you're wanting to be in my good graces, you follow these few guidelines. I don't think they're too tedious.
Um, I think I covered everything that's been on my mind. Thanks for reading :)
6/1.75....love you.
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