Joshua 1:9

I'm going to keep this short and not-so-sweet, but I'm posting so I won't have to tell it 5 million times.

So Gam went to the oncologist today for more tests. They have concluded that she has Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, which is a rapid-moving cancer. Chemo will start July 14th and she will have to go once a week for 18 weeks and then once every three weeks for a year. There were two other things she would have to take every three weeks for 18 weeks also, I didn't really read a whole lot about it. The downside is, I guess because of her age, previous heart problems and the aggressiveness of the treatment, it could cause heart failure.

This scripture is something God has been constantly bringing to me lately. Sometimes I feel like He yells it to me, like He's saying "helloooo, did this verse magically disappear from your Bible this morning or what?!" and other times it's like He puts His arm around me and speaks softly as a parent would do for a frightened child.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9

Lack of Words

So, I've been waiting to make another post. Partially so we had time to tell the family and partially because I honestly haven't been able to bring myself to say it. But since my mom posted it on Facebook and our immediate family has been notified, and I know it will never get easier to say, I guess I will just have to come out and say it.

Gammy had a breast biopsy done a couple weeks ago and we found out last week that it came back positive for cancer. I haven't asked many questions because I'm still kind of in a daze, like, what do you ask? What do you say? Is there a rule book as to how I'm supposed to feel? So many questions that I don't have answers to. She goes for more tests tomorrow and Wednesday and following those tests, we should know more.

In the mean time, say some prayers for us. If you don't pray, keep us in your thoughts. A lot of things have been changing around here and they're changing quick. And if you know me, you know I am not a big fan of change, at least the kind I can't control. I know this is affecting all of us differently and none of us are good about communicating our feelings, so we're just kind of holding our breath for right now.

P.S. I hate to be selfish, but I'm going to have my wisdom teeth extracted on Thursday and I'm terrified, so say an extra prayer for me :)

In all you do, I'll pray for you

So yeah, it's been over a week since I've blogged, but it's been a pretty crazy week. Mostly consumed of running errands and such. The big news is, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on the 30th and I'm absolutely terrified about it. I'm just glad I will be asleep for it, otherwise I would have a panic attack.

In other news, graduation is exactly 6 months from today and I cannot wait! I am so ready to get out of here, my family is driving me crazy.

So I don't really have much to say on here just because I'm too lazy to recap my exhausting week and a half. But I know some were wondering about the name of my blog and where it came from. If you've heard the saying, you probably realize that it's not really pronounced "Sara" like my name, but "será." It comes from the Spanish phrase "que será, será," which means "whatever will be, will be." I had heard this saying before but a few years ago, it came to me in the form of a Sara Evans song, that really touched my heart. It kind of describes my life, because even though I am still living at home, sometimes I long to go back to the days when life was simple and Mama could fix all of my problems. And I know life isn't going to get easier, I don't believe it's going to get worse, but it's not going to get easier and whatever is meant to be, will always be. No ifs, ands or buts about it, that's just the way life goes. So I created the blog so my friends and family could join me on my life's journey and see where it takes us, because I know it's going to be a great adventure.

So I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the song and if you want to look it up on YouTube or something it's called "Pray For You" by Sara Evans.

Que Será, Será, life goes on
Whatever's meant to be will always be
And baby, what don't kill you will make you strong
Just love the journey that you're on
In all you do, I'll pray for you

CMT Awards

So yeah, I usually will never post twice in one day, but I like making my predictions for music award shows (I usually don't watch award shows for anything other than music). The awards start in about an hour, so here are my predictions...

Video of the Year
• Jason Aldean - "My Kinda Party"
• Kenny Chesney - "The Boys of Fall"
• Lady Antebellum - "Hello World"
• Miranda Lambert - "The House That Built Me"
• Rascal Flatts - "Why Wait"
• Sugarland - "Stuck Like Glue"
• Taylor Swift - "Mine"
• The Band Perry - "If I Die Young"
• Carrie Underwood - "Undo It"
• Zac Brown Band - "Colder Weather"

This is a tough one. I don't remember them ever having this many entries in one category. I would LOVE it if The Band Perry won because they're amazing. However, I'm going to say Miranda's "The House That Built Me."

Male Video of the Year
• Jason Aldean - "My Kinda Party"
• Kenny Chesney - "The Boys of Fall"
• Toby Keith - "Bullets in the Gun"
• Blake Shelton - "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking"
• Keith Urban - "Without You"

For this one, the one I want to win is Jason Aldean. He's one of my absolute favorites. He could surprise us. But I'm going to say that Kenny Chesney will take the win on this one.

Female Video of the Year
• Sara Evans - "A Little Bit Stronger"
• Miranda Lambert - "The House That Built Me"
• Reba McEntire - "Turn On the Radio"
• Taylor Swift - "Mine"
• Carrie Underwood - "Undo It"

This is always one of my favorite categories. The women of country music are pretty much my heroes. It takes a special kind of woman to be a country girl. For the category, I would really love for Sara to win, BUT I'm going to say Miranda will take this one home as well.

Group Video of the Year
• Lady Antebellum - "Hello World"
• Little Big Town - "Little White Church"
• Rascal Flatts - "Why Wait"
• The Band Perry - "If I Die Young"
• Zac Brown Band - "Colder Weather"

Not to show favoritism or anything, but I vote for TBP on this one. They are very much deserving. However, I think Lady A will be taking home this belt buckle.
Duo Video of the Year
• Steel Magnolia - "Last Night Again"
• Sugarland - "Stuck Like Glue"
• The Civil Wars - "Barton Hollow"
• The JaneDear Girls - "Wildflower"
• Thompson Square - "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not"

I love belting out some Thompson Square. That song is one of my summer faves, it's just a cute song. As much as I would like them to win, I'm going with Sugarland's "Stuck Like Glue."

USA Weekend Breakthrough Video of the Year
• Lee Brice - "Love Like Crazy"
• Aaron Lewis - "Country Boy"
• Jerrod Niemann - "Lover, Lover"
• The Band Perry - "If I Die Young"
• Thompson Square - "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not"

For once, my "want to win" pick and "will win" pick is the same. I'm saying The Band Perry, hands down :)

Collaborative Video of the Year
• Jason Aldean with Kelly Clarkson - "Don't You Wanna Stay"
• Justin Bieber featuring Rascal Flatts - "That Should Be Me"
• Kid Rock featuring Sheryl Crow - "Collide"
• Aaron Lewis featuring George Jones and Charlie Daniels - "Country Boy"
• Loretta Lynn, Miranda Lambert and Sheryl Crow - "Coal Miner's Daughter"

Okay first of all, who knew Justin Bieber and Rascal Flatts did a collaborative video? Have I been living under a rock? Um, Miranda, Sheryl and Loretta's version of Coal Miner's Daughter is amazing. I get chills every time I hear Loretta's voice come in at the end. However, my "will win" pick for this one is Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. No questions asked.

CMT Performance of the Year
(musical performance on a television show, series or variety special on CMT)
• Martina McBride and Train - "A Broken Wing" from CMT Crossroads: Train and Martina McBride
• Reba McEntire - "If I Were a Boy" from Unplugged: Reba
• Darius Rucker and Adele - "Need You Now" from 2010 CMT Artists of the Year
• Keith Urban and John Mayer - "Sweet Thing" from CMT Crossroads: John Mayer and Keith Urban
• Zac Brown Band and Jimmy Buffett - "Margaritaville" from CMT Crossroads: Jimmy Buffett and Zac Brown Band

Okay, if Reba wins, we have failed as a society. I LOVE Reba so, so much, but I cannot stand her version of "If I Were A Boy," and I haven't met anyone who likes it. This is another tough category, I'm really not sure about this one. So I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say Zac Brown Band & Jimmy Buffett. Could be totally wrong though.

Best Web Video of the Year (new for 2011)
(best video created primarily for Internet streaming)
• Jason Aldean - "My Kinda Party" (live from the CMT.com webcast)
• Luke Bryan - "It's a Shore Thing"
• Lady Antebellum - "Stars Tonight"
• Blake Shelton - "Kiss My Country Ass"
• Taylor Swift - "Mine" (live from the Speak Now album release party)

Where do they come up with some of these categories? It's kind of ridiculous. I'm going to say Taylor and leave it at that.
Video Director of the Year
• Deaton Flanigen (award-eligible videos include Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow's "Collide" and the JaneDear Girl's "Wildflower")
• Trey Fanjoy (award-eligible videos include Miranda Lambert's "The House That Built Me" and Blake Shelton's "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking")
• Chris Hicky (award-eligible videos include Carrie Underwood's "Undo It" and Keith Urban's "Without You")
• David McClister (award-eligible videos include The Band Perry's "If I Die Young" and LeAnn Rimes' "Swingin'")
• Roman White (award-eligible videos include Lady Antebellum's "Hello World" and Kellie Pickler's "Makin' Me Fall in Love Again")

Ahh, I have only seen three of these videos, but I'm going with Trey Fanjoy. She's fantastic. Roman could give her a run for her money, but Trey will be the one with the buckle :)

So that's my take, I'll update the post as the night goes by underlining the actual winners

The Glam Life

I haven't blogged in almost a week. I've been super busy, luckily.

The weekend was pretty crazy. Jojo's 1st birthday party, Aunt Cheryl's birthday party here. I think I was lazy most of the day Sunday, well, I read most of the day.

Monday marked the beginning of the summer semester. I ignored it and went to run errands and do some shopping with Kait because she's in town for a bit. We went and got our Eli Young Band tickets, went to the mall, got snow cones, went to Target and Old Navy. Then we sat at her mom's being lazy. It was really good to hand out with Kait, but somehow, I became super exhausted. It was pretty ridiculous.

Yesterday, I started on homework and went to speech therapy with Jaxie. Today I've done more homework and did laundry. My life is so glam, I know. I'm feeling super lazy and not wanting to really write much more than this. So I'm out.

I Need Something To Do

I am seriously not productive when I don't have deadlines to meet. I'm bored out of my mind right now. I could be doing a million things right now(yes, my Lante girls are screaming for an update), but I have no motivation. It seems I want to waste time doing things like reading and writing when I NEED to be doing other things, like homework. I'm done with school until Monday, so we'll see what happens.

Yesterday, I came up with the bright idea to take the kids to the water park. It was fun, Lulu loved it! But no matter how much sunscreen we put on those kids and ourselves, everyone except Riley got a little sunburnt. Even Mom, who never burns. Mine is mostly on my back, but it doesn't hurt, so I think it's just going to turn into a killer tan (yes, tan lines and all). I was pretty excited because I'm not white as a ghost anymore. Still pretty close, but I have a little color.

Last night when we got home, I was super exhausted and planned on going to bed early. However, I gave into peer pressure (aka Kinz and Bianca making fun of me) and bought a webcam. So of course, the first thing the girls want to do last night is chat. So I get everything set up and all the kinks worked out and we have us a little chat before I had to run off and watch General Hospital and go to bed at 11 o'clock.

Why so early, you ask? Da-dad and I had dentist appointments in Talihina at the crack of dawn this morning. Even going to bed at 11, getting up at 6:15 is a major task for me. I was dying! But anyway, we both had one filling done. Mine was on a tooth that part of it broke off on my way to Africa in 2008. For those of you wondering, yes, I broke it on airplane food and yes, I accidentally swallowed it. The food wasn't bad, but the meat was a little tough. For those of you wondering further, it was and Ethiopian Airlines flight that I was on. Anyway, the decay was pretty bad and they had to reconstruct over half of my tooth. I had almost hoped they would just pull it out.

Now, you may be wondering why I didn't have it taken care of earlier since it broke in 2008. Well, I don't have insurance and my only option is to go to Choctaw Nation. And when I was about 10 or 11, I had an abscessed tooth and went to the dentist at CN. They pulled the tooth and hadn't numbed my mouth enough, so it was like horrible, horrible pain. And then, they let me leave with my mouth still gushing blood. So Choctaw Nation and I don't have a good history. Needless to say, I was a little scared to go back, but I sucked it up because I had to go see them to get referred to get my wisdom teeth extracted, which I'm also super terrified about.

I came home and crashed after that. And now here I am, being bored and unproductive.