Might As Well...

So as upset as I am, I probably shouldn't be writing this blog, but this is something that's been weighing on my mind for awhile, I'm just too nice to say it on a normal day. But doesn't it suck when you do something to help someone out and it just comes back to bite you in the butt? Yeah, it pretty much does.

So some of you may know, back in May or June, my dad got this "great new job" and he was gonna do this and help me out with that and blah, blah, blah. So when their car died, after much thought and discussion, I decided to let them use my car. Okay, I was going to give them my car in exchange for a new car that he and my mom would make payments on until he paid off the value of my car, by that time I would hopefully have a job and be able to take over payments myself. I had thought by the end of the summer I would have a new (to me...not necessarily new) car that I could drive back and forth to school. Well, then Gam got sick. So that kinda put a damper on things because she was supposed to be the one to co-sign for me a car through her credit union so I could get a low interest rate.

I don't let that get me down too much, I keep looking for cars. Mom and I planned a trip to Florida in November, I was gonna have a new car by then that we could drive down there, things would be great. Deadlines started coming, excuses kept flying and I started realizing a trip to Florida wasn't gonna happen. Did I mention in the mean time, I'm driving the van to school? Not too bad, it's a nice vehicle, but it doesn't like taking the curves in the mountains at 70 mph very much and it's a pain in the ass to park!

School started two months ago. I was thinking I'm moving to Nashville in January, no big deal, I'll have a car by then. I've had no social life all summer long, I can handle it a little bit longer. But now the outlook is grim and I feel like I'm never going to get out of here. I am seriously losing my freaking mind staying here, being tormented by those demons that have always said "you'll never make it, you might as well give up now, you're never going to achieve those dreams." I'm just so sick of being here that I can barely stand it and I don't know what to do because I have no way out. The only time I can do something I want to do is if it's planned wayyyy ahead of time or if Kambrye comes to get me or if I go somewhere in the middle of the night. And let's face it, my friends can't hang out in the middle of the night. Oh or when I go to class on Wednesdays and even then I'm lucky that things don't get planned over that. Sometimes I drive around after class just so I don't have to go home. I'm tired of getting yelled at and having people pick fights with me just because they're in the mood to argue.

And here's the kicker, I had this good job, I didn't have a set schedule, but I was paid well and treated even better. It gave me some extra spending money so I didn't have to spend my "moving money," and I was able to help out a friend when she needed me. I haven't been able to work since my dad started using my car. And I haven't seen Jeannie and Caiden in almost 3 months. So I stopped by there today to tell her I could probably start working weekend nights because we had two vehicles. Well, the one weekend I need a vehicle to go to WORK, my sister is taking the van to go to Oklahoma City and my parents are taking my car to go to Oklahoma City. Awesome. So I guess I get to call Jeannie tomorrow and tell her to not make plans because her sitter is unreliable.

So here we are, 4 months later and things are still the exact same way they were in June, except I'm a lot more pessimistic and definitely loosing my sanity and patience. Life is so freakin' overrated sometimes and I'm ready to give up on mine at the moment.

100 Day Picture Challenge - Day 25

Day 25 - A picture of you from last year

Almost a year ago exactly. My hair was sooo short, but it looked totally cute. And I love this outfit. #conceited :)

100 Day Picture Challenge - Day 08

Day 08 - A picture of your most treasured item

My phone because it keeps me connected to pretty much anyone who matters, it has pictures of some of my favorite memories, it has my homework on it. Not sure what would happen if I didn't have my phone.

100 Day Picture Challenge - Day 01

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

1. First name: Sara. Middle name: Ann...although some know me by Sara Mae.

2. I am a music junkie. I like all kinds of music, from country to pop to rock to christian.

3. You will never be number one in my life. Jesus has that spot.

4. I've lived in Oklahoma my whole life, but I'm a devout Arkansas Razorback fan.

5. I am a pre-law kid, with plans to eventually attend Vanderbilt.

6. I LOVE coffee. Not the frilly stuff. Plain coffee with a little cream and sugar.

7. I love to travel and I'm usually planning my next trip before I get home from the current one.

8. I am in my 6th year of college. Go ahead and laugh. I get paid to go to school :)

9. Unless you're family or a friend, I probably don't care what you think about me.

10. I have high blood pressure, ulcers, severe allergies, bone/joint pain, migraines and asthma. I have to take medicine for all of them and usually have a small pharmacy in my purse.

11. I think the world of my close friends and feel so blessed to have them in my life.

12. People hate me because I fix my hair at night (mousse and blow dryer), go to bed, wake up the next morning and it looks freaking fantastic. I think it's hilarious.

13. I am the proud aunt to Riley, Jaxie, Lulu and Yazzie. They're pretty awesome.

14. General Hospital is a big part of my life. You can tell me I'm weird, I'm used to it. I've met some of my best friends and gained 4 new moms because of it.

15. I am almost always multi-tasking. I can't just stick with doing one thing for too long.

You Are Drivin' Me Nuts!

So I know most of my blogs are just updates on life. Lately they've been a little on the not-so-happy side. This one should fix that. It's going to be a little bit of complaining, but we'll try to make it fun. Here are a few things that drive me nuts, in no particular order...

1) So-Called Fans

Obviously, I'm a HUGE fan of General Hospital. Over the last year, I've met a ton of GH fans, some have become my best friends, some my worst enemies and others are the ones who I love to hate. There are also the "so-called" fans. These are the people who will Tivo GH and fast-forward through more of the show than what they actually watch. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against fast-forwarding through SOME of the show (even though this concept was unknown to me until Brenda came back last year), but if you're only watching Mabby scenes day after day, I'm sorry, you're not a GH fan, you're a Mabby fan. So I would appreciate it if you didn't claim to be a GH fan.

2) Drama Whores

Okay, so I like a little drama in my life every once in awhile. It keeps things interesting. But when you're a 40-something who gets mad at someone for a stupid reason (or no reason) and you think you need to ruin their life, you need a reality check. If you have nothing better to do than TRY to make someone's life miserable, you need a life, it's obviously not working. You're not twelve anymore honey, and you obviously have more plastic in your face than in the Barbie dolls you still carry around in your purse. Get over it and act your age.

3) Bad-Mouthing

That brings me to my next annoyance. Almost everyone I know has complained because this person called them a bad name. Yeah, it hurts in the moment, but it means nothing. Who freaking cares? I may be the only one who feels this way because I have pretty tough skin. Just about anything you can say about me, doesn't bother me. My weight, I'm a big girl, if I had a problem with it, I would fix it. My teeth, they're crooked and not white, I would like to have perfect teeth, but I don't and it doesn't bother me. My hair, usually a mess, it's been that way all my life, I've gotten used to it. My face isn't the prettiest, I've had that all my life too, feel the same way about it as I do my hair. Just because I don't like you, doesn't classify me as a "bitch." That's my prerogative, I can feel the way I want. They way I look at it, say what you want about me, because my friends and I are probably saying the same things or worse about you and your friends. Deal with it, Princess. It happens.

4) Bad Musicians

Music has always been a big part of my life. For just about any situation I get myself into, there's a song to describe the feelings I have because of that situation. I cannot stand when people say a certain artist is a horrible artist. Obviously they're not, because--in most cases--they're multi-platinum, they have a million billion fans and are at the top of the charts. If you don't like the artist, that's completely fine, dislike them all you want, but don't say they aren't any good. For example, I really don't care for Kenny Chesney, I don't dislike him, I love a few of his songs, but I wouldn't pay money to go see him in concert. He's an AMAZING artist! I will admit that, I just don't really care for the majority of his music. Now, there are some artists (as pointed out by Chad Duell) who use technology to produce music, I think that's ridiculous. That's an exception. So recap, don't say artists suck just because you don't like them, because chances are, they don't suck, you do, kind sir.

5) Grammar

So I realize that most of the time, it's honest mistakes. People don't know any better. They think "there," "their" and "they're" are freely exchangeable. This makes me want to cut out my eyeballs so I will never have to read some of these things ever again. I don't have the best grammar, but I've had quite a bit of training in spelling and grammar, so it's easier for me to notice. I really, really wish I had a red font on Facebook, just so I could go through and correct some of the mistakes I see. Another thing is the abbreviations. Text messaging has made our society dumb. Some of the things, such as "LOL" or "IDK," I understand, but when you're abbreviating EVERY SINGLE WORD, I really want to strangle you.

I hope you found this amusing. And yes, I realize I am not completely faultless, nor am I perfect. Some of the things I do probably drive you nuts too, that's okay. Go get your own blog and complain about it. That's what they're there for (see, I used "they're" and "there" correctly, it's true, look it up).

In all you do, I'll pray for you

So yeah, it's been over a week since I've blogged, but it's been a pretty crazy week. Mostly consumed of running errands and such. The big news is, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on the 30th and I'm absolutely terrified about it. I'm just glad I will be asleep for it, otherwise I would have a panic attack.

In other news, graduation is exactly 6 months from today and I cannot wait! I am so ready to get out of here, my family is driving me crazy.

So I don't really have much to say on here just because I'm too lazy to recap my exhausting week and a half. But I know some were wondering about the name of my blog and where it came from. If you've heard the saying, you probably realize that it's not really pronounced "Sara" like my name, but "será." It comes from the Spanish phrase "que será, será," which means "whatever will be, will be." I had heard this saying before but a few years ago, it came to me in the form of a Sara Evans song, that really touched my heart. It kind of describes my life, because even though I am still living at home, sometimes I long to go back to the days when life was simple and Mama could fix all of my problems. And I know life isn't going to get easier, I don't believe it's going to get worse, but it's not going to get easier and whatever is meant to be, will always be. No ifs, ands or buts about it, that's just the way life goes. So I created the blog so my friends and family could join me on my life's journey and see where it takes us, because I know it's going to be a great adventure.

So I'll leave you with a little excerpt from the song and if you want to look it up on YouTube or something it's called "Pray For You" by Sara Evans.

Que Será, Será, life goes on
Whatever's meant to be will always be
And baby, what don't kill you will make you strong
Just love the journey that you're on
In all you do, I'll pray for you

The Glam Life

I haven't blogged in almost a week. I've been super busy, luckily.

The weekend was pretty crazy. Jojo's 1st birthday party, Aunt Cheryl's birthday party here. I think I was lazy most of the day Sunday, well, I read most of the day.

Monday marked the beginning of the summer semester. I ignored it and went to run errands and do some shopping with Kait because she's in town for a bit. We went and got our Eli Young Band tickets, went to the mall, got snow cones, went to Target and Old Navy. Then we sat at her mom's being lazy. It was really good to hand out with Kait, but somehow, I became super exhausted. It was pretty ridiculous.

Yesterday, I started on homework and went to speech therapy with Jaxie. Today I've done more homework and did laundry. My life is so glam, I know. I'm feeling super lazy and not wanting to really write much more than this. So I'm out.