Giving Thanks

As I sit here in the last few hours of this wonderful holiday, I think it's time for me to give a little thanks.

First of all, I'm super thankful that I didn't have much time to sit down and write a blog until 10 o'clock on Thanksgiving night. When the day began at 12:00 AM, I was sitting in a movie theater with my sister, nephew and best friend, watching the end of an era...the last movie to the Twilight Saga. As tears ran down my face (yes, I'm a big baby), I knew I couldn't be happier to be where I was. I was able to get home, get a few hours of sleep before getting up at 9 to get ready for our family tradition.

First, I spent a little while with Jaxie and Lulu, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Mostly just watching it because the kids were convinced that Summer was going to be IN the parade instead of sitting on the sidelines. After that, we got ready and headed to the Choctaw Nation Community Center in Stigler to celebrate Thanksgiving with Da-dad's part of our family, which is a blessing within itself. Since the matriarch of our family (Charlotte) passed away nearly 2 years ago, getting all of the family together has seemed like a much bigger task than it did in the past. But once again, we (mostly Jennifer) were able to get all of our ducks in a row to celebrate together. We've been doing this for more than half my life, and I can't imagine spending Thanksgiving without them, nor would I want to.

I am ridiculously thankful for my friends, the ones who've stuck by me even in my darkest hour, who put up with me even when I'm being unreasonable and dramatic, and the ones who know how to make hundreds or thousands of miles seem like just around the corner because we talk so much. Amber is the one I can be goofy with, we've been through a lot, but I don't know what I would do without her and her girls. Kaitlin, the one who knows me better than I know myself, the one I can always count on. Kinsey, the person who is most like a sister to me, we fight, bicker, and annoy each other at times, but no matter what, we've managed to work through everything that life has thrown at us. Most of the time, we are silly and talk about random, pointless things. Bianca, the one I go to when I'm feeling down and need encouragement. She's almost always happy, and when you're around her, you can't help but be happy too. Summer, who I can tell anything too, and always knows the right thing to say, and when to say it. She would do just about anything for me, as I would for her. Faith, who is seriously one of my biggest inspirations. She makes me want to strive to be better in all things I do. She is not perfect, by any means, but she puts her all into everything she does, and I look up to her so much for that. She is always there for me, whether we're just talking about dumb stuff, or listening to me complain about people. THANKS to all of you (and for all the rest of my friends too) for being there for me. You all bring something different to the table, and while my relationship with each of you may be different, I love you all the same.

I want to give a huge thanks for my family, especially those who have supported me through this last year. The ones who haven't given up on me and let me make my own decisions, instead of telling me what I "should" be doing or what I could be doing better. I give my all in everything I do, and I won't accept anything less than what I deserve. I have worked hard in school for nearly 19 years, I may have lost my way, but I haven't screwed up, I've always made the decisions I felt were best for me at the time, and I don't regret any of it. Most people my age are married, divorced, married again, have a few kids. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it makes life a little harder. I've chosen to take the road less traveled, and while some people think there's something wrong with me because of it, my family support my decision to not have those things at this moment in time. My Gammy and Da-dad helped take care of me from birth until I was 12, then after that, they took me into their home full-time and raised me, and they continue to take care of me today. While things aren't always easy, I make sure they know that I appreciate them for making that sacrifice to raise me and me sister. My parents have helped me quite a bit over the last year, making things a little easier financially as I search for a job. My sister for letting me be her shadow. I never thought we would be this close, but we are. She supports me in all aspects of my life. My Uncle Bill and Aunt Cheryl have always stood by me and respected my decisions. They give me advice when it comes to decision-making, and I cherish that advice, because they always have my best interest at heart. They've taken me under their wing and done so much for me over the last few years. They've never failed me.

And of course my nieces and nephews, Riley, Jaxie, Lulu, Yazzie, Lizzy and Charleigh. I have so much love for all of them. Sometimes I want to beat their butts, but they've taught me so much about life and how to love unconditionally.

I am also thankful to live in a country where I am free. I know that freedom comes at a price, and I never forget that. I have so many men and women in my life who have fought for my freedom, and that's something I could never thank them enough for.

That's What Friends Are For

Yeah, yeah...I realized this is my second blog in one day, but I'm making up for lost time. But really though, I had something on my mind and I had to get it out there.

Now, I realize I'm only 24 and I have a lot more to learn, but I feel like I've learned a lot about friendship and true colors over the last few years. So I'm going to share a bit of that with you.

It really annoys me when people sit around and wonder why they don't have friends...or maybe they have friends, but no one really wants to hang out with them. I've had a few of these friends in the past. You get what you give...meaning: you have to put some effort into a relationship to get something out of it. If you want them to treat you a certain way, you have to reciprocate that treatment.

I'm not talking about being available every second of everyday, but just knowing that if I REALLY need you, you'll drop what you're doing and be there, just like I would for you. Also...don't make promises you can't keep. I realize things happen, plans go awry sometimes, but I know some people who constantly say "oh, I'll come over later," or "I'll be there at 7." And then they're either super late or don't show up at all. Is it so hard to  send a text or Facebook message or--heaven forbid--call the person to say "I'm running late," or "Something came up, I can't make it?" Because I really don't find it that hard to pick up my phone and do so. With that being said, I've done that before, but ONLY to people who have done that to me on more than one occasion.

I have trust issues and this just adds to the problem. I can count on one hand the number of people I can trust at least 85% of the time. I have zero people on this earth who I trust 100%. This doesn't mean the rest of the people I don't trust at all, I just don't trust them as much.

Now most of you know that I'm not a high maintenance person when it comes to friends and family. I like being by myself, I like to stay home and be lazy. I'm not the type of person who wants to go somewhere every single time we hang out. I'm also not the type of person who wants to talk (or hear you talk) the ENTIRE time we're together. Turn the radio up in the car and sing at the top of your lungs for crying out loud. Take Amber for example, we can drive around all day long and maybe say two words to each other, not because we're mad, not because we don't have anything to say, just because nothing NEEDS to be said.

Like I said before, I don't need someone to be available every second of everyday. Yeah, I like attention (okay, I love attention), but I don't want it from you unless you're willing to give it to me. I'm not going to stand on my head and hold my breath to get you to give me a second glance. That's not who I amI like friends who are 100% comfortable to just sit at the house and watch movies sometimes. I like going places, but sometimes I just don't feel up to it. And if you're going to be annoyed by this, then we probably shouldn't be friends. If you're the one wanting to see me, you should probably come to me, I can't come to you every single time.

I have a long-distance relationship with most of my CLOSE friends. Amber and Kaitlin are the exception...and Kait isn't really an exception because she lives 3 hours away. And I know I don't put in as much as I should when it comes to our friendship because I rarely go to OKC, but when I do, we try to meet up. And when she comes home and has time, we like to hang out, even if that means sharing iTunes libraries at home or going to get snow cones (see what I mean by not being high maintenance).

Anyway, back to the long-distance thing. Some people think it's weird, but seriously 3 of my 5 closest friends live out of state and not just a state over, one of them is two states away, another is 3 states away and another lives in Rhode Island. It's just how things work for me. I think it's because those relationships aren't high maintenance friendships. I explained it once as they're not here on a daily basis to let me down, because the more you're around a person, the more likely you are to be let down by that person. Does that make sense? We talk A LOT, Twitter, Facebook, texting, phone calls...those are our only means of communications. When you have a busy life and your friends have a busy life, it's hard to meet up once a week or even once a month sometimes, but when you have a means of communication that is always open, things work a little better.

Another thing...neediness. It goes hand-in-hand with being a high maintenance friend. These type of people are constantly grasping at straws, trying to get someone to hang out with them. Now some people will take the bait, but not me. Usually the more a person is trying to connect with me, the more I push away. When you're stalking my Facebook to find out where I'm at or what I'm doing, just so you can get your foot in, you probably need to reassess our friendship. I don't want to be around anyone 24/7 or even 12/3.5 or...well, whatever half of 12/3.5 is. Once again, I'm just not that type of person. I get sick of people easily. And if you're constantly wanting me to come over, I'm probably not going to. If you want to hang out so bad, you can come by my house, I'm usually here, like I said, I don't like to leave.

Something else that bothers me, if you want to go do something so bad, don't rush me. If I'm going to just hang out at your house, I will come over with messy hair and no makeup. But if you're wanting to go shopping or something, you must be willing to wait at least an hour (usually longer) before I even think about walking out that door. If you're not, you probably should ask someone else.

I must say, I'm not the best friend...sometimes I'm not even a good friend at all, but I try. I put effort into my relationships, I keep my promises and I try not to bother people unless I have something to say. So if you're wanting to be in my good graces, you follow these few guidelines. I don't think they're too tedious.

Um, I think I covered everything that's been on my mind. Thanks for reading :)

Adventures of an Auntie

Wow...this has been a heck of a week.

It all started last Wednesday when I was working with my little Caiden. Amber texted me to tell me she was pretty sure it was time to head to the hospital. So as soon as Caiden's granny got home from running errands, I was out the door, headed home to tie up a few loose ends and grab my bags.

We got to the hospital around 7:30, got her all checked in and stuff, poor Amber was puking her guts up. She was super dehydrated because she had been sick most of the day. They gave her a shot for the nausea and started giving her fluids. Honestly, at this point, I was just thinking the contractions were caused from the dehydration and they would send her home. I'm pretty sure that's what everyone else was thinking too. But after sitting there for a few hours with contractions not dying down and Amber in a lot of pain, they realized she was dilating. So after a little more waiting, they finally gave her some pain medicine that knocked her smooth out.

Jack got up there about 11:30 and Amber's grandma came by for a little while. That whole night was kind of a blur. Amber was knocked out and Jack and I couldn't sleep. I stretched out in a recliner-like thing (wasn't as comfortable) and tried to sleep around 2 or so, but couldn't sleep. Around 5:30, Jack and I got hungry, so he went to McDonald's and got us some breakfast. We got our bellies full and around 6:30, we were finally able to fall asleep. That's when the dang anesthesiologist came barging in to do the epidural...Jack couldn't get out of there fast enough and I about passed out (but didn't) when he gave it to her.

More of the blurring happened, she was dilating slow, so they broke her water and gave her some pitocin to speed things up. Eventually, she made it to an 8...then they realized the baby's head wasn't where it was supposed to (yeah, why the heck didn't they check that hours before). So they got an ultrasound tech in there to figure out that Lizzy's head was near Amber's rib cage. Didn't even formally tell her she had to have a c-section, the nurse just came in and asked who was going to surgery with her. So after a quick debate, we decided Jack would go to surgery with her.

And at 1:41 PM on March 8th, Alyzabeth Shae was born. Shortly thereafter, Jack carried her to the nursery as I snapped pictures while we walked down the hall. Amber's mom and preacher were waiting on us when we got back to the labor & delivery ward. Lizzy was wide awake just looking around, content as could be. She weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces and was 19 inches long.

I had planned on staying the night with Amber because we didn't really know if Jack was going to. So when he decided to stay, I decided to go home and get some sleep. Jack had to leave for work at 6:30 the next morning and Amber could barely pick the baby up to change her diaper, so even though the nurses could help, we didn't want to leave her there alone, so we decided it would be best if I came back to sit with her. I think I went to bed around 7 that night...talk about tired.

So after Lizzy losing a few ounces, the on-call doctor for the weekend didn't want to release them. So I had Yazzie (and Riley, Jaxie and Lulu) most of the day on Monday. But finally on Monday evening, Amber's doctor let them go and I got to drive them home since Jack was at work. And since Jack had to work yesterday, that put Amber home with both girls by herself, so I went over to help her out and cook them dinner. Talk about a whirlwind of a week, This auntie is definitely exhausted, but I wouldn't change any of it (well, maybe the part of Lizzy being breach) for anything.

Hello...Is This Thing On?

I honestly could not tell you the last time I did an actual blog post. I had to go back an look...4 months and 1 day ago. A lot has happened since then, but most of it has been a little on the dark side. Meaning: I couldn't post about it without pissing some or all of my family off. So for my own well-being I kept to myself. But let's just say it's been a rough few months and I've spent the majority of it in my room with my door shut. That's how I like things. I like being alone. And yeah, this probably sounds like I'm the most depressed person right now, but I'm actually not, I'm very happy with life right now and I'm in a really good mood today.

So a little update on life...I started my final semester in college in January and this week marks the midterm point, meaning only 8 more weeks until graduation. Yes, it's taken me 6 whole years to get through this. If I hadn't switched my major, it wouldn't have taken this long, but I don't regret the switch, I love my major and I love my career path. I really can't believe I've made it...I remember being a junior and senior in high school thinking I'd never make it, simply because I was from Keota, not many people from my small town ever graduate (or even go to) college. My parents didn't graduate, my sister didn't go. So how was I supposed to do it? This is a super proud moment for me, I get to brag a little.

For those wanting to know about Gammy...I'm not 100% sure on details. We don't get along very well these days and I try to stay out of her way. Therefore, I don't know much of what's going on. She's been in and out of the hospital and she's still taking radiation and some type of IV treatment to make sure her cancer doesn't come back, I'm pretty sure she said she's doing that through at least September. Her hair is finally growing back following her chemo treatments, so that has definitely boosted her spirits.

What else? I'm currently in a holding pattern waiting for niece number 3 to be born. As some of you know, Amber (my best friend since second grade) is pregnant with her second daughter. No, they're not biologically my nieces, but I treat them as such. Elizabeth Shae was supposed to arrive March 6th. However, this stubborn little girl has decided she likes being in her mommy's belly too much. After going to extreme measures to make sure Amber didn't go into early labor in January, I guess Lizzy has decided to pay us back for that. We thought she was ready to be born, but at Amber's last doctor's appointment, she had moved back up to where the doctor couldn't induce if he wanted to. So we're hoping she moves back down this week to where Amber can be induced soon. Wondering why this is such a big deal to me? I get to be in the delivery room when she's born! I'm not gonna lie, I'm super nervous about this. I've obviously never gone through birthing a child, nor have I witnessed one. It will definitely be an experience and I think it will bond me to this little girl forever.

After the baby is born, I plan on getting a job so I can save some money for my big move. Where am I moving? Well, I'm keeping my options open, but my heart is set on one place in particular, but if you don't already know, you probably won't find out until I'm ready to move. I like keeping it on the down-low :)

Other than that, there's not a whole lot going on in my life. It's Saturday and I have nothing to do all day long, so I decided to get a little blogging in :)

100 Day Picture Challenge - Day 87

Day 87 - A picture of someone you grew up with

My Amby.

We've been best friends since we were 7. Our friendship was more like a sisterhood. We used to fight and bicker all the time, even well into our teens. But now we're in our twenties, we've had a few disagreements here and there, but if we had the same opinion on everything, life wouldn't be fun. And did I mention she's the mom to my two youngest (adorable) nieces Yazzie and Aly? Yep :)